My weekend response & Self-care Part 2

Life sure is funny. The day to day events can drag us down and leave us quite drained and sluggish. For sensitive people getting through and juggling a lot of emotional things at ones becomes overwhelming. This all turns into a big mess where our health is concerned. Stress is a huge no – no when it comes to this. In my case I believe stress played a big role in how I became so ill and was unable to function for so long. Often times it’s underlying hidden stressors that we may not realize are causing us these anxieties and other times it’s the things we know are for sure causing us stress : the broken down vehicle, the teenager, the monthly bills, the toddler that won’t eat your cooking, the messy house, the cat that simply won’t leave you alone when you need your space bubble …. You know the ones I’m talking about. And then your health takes a turn for the worse again and you can’t get it in check and you can’t figure out why things are just not leveling again. You think you’ve done all the right things: Avoided triggers, drank your fluids, gotten sleep, but then you realize it ……

There is that one minute you’re panicking and thinking that your head will never be okay again and then right in the next one you’re sitting up at 11:30 PM (when your normal bedtime is 10 PM) , because you can’t sleep… simply because you feel “normal”. I put that in quotation marks because really, I don’t recall what “normal” feels like. I always have some sort of pain or dizziness or unstableness, but I’ve learned to manage those and live with all of those quite well thanks to my amazing support & family. This normal though is different…. I’m giddy, and bouncy and there is NO pain and minimal dizziness. I’m so wound up from the lack of discomfort that I’m wide awake and unable to get to bed. Which that is also no good because lack of sleep as you may know is a trigger in itself.

Anyways, what I was saying… Life is funny, it presents us with all sorts of obstacles. I had an amazing weekend. Shopping, hanging out with friends, and just all around it was great getting things done with the people I love and care about and just spending some lovely pre-holiday time together (including fake snowball fights). I think the fact that I finally was able to do some severe self-care this weekend and rejuvenate was what turned my head around some. Healing self-care practices can help us make it to the other side.

Self-Care is never about being selfish or uncaring. Never does it mean that you are wanting to shut others out or don’t love them. What it does mean is, that your energy tank needs fuel too to run effectively and if it runs on empty you run out of steam. We are not super-human ! We are amazing, beautiful creatures but we do have to nurture and take care of ourselves.  Sometimes for the sake of our well being we simply have to unplug and unwind and do what WE want to do. So here are some more self-care ideas/tips that may help you:

  1. Unplug: Shut off your phone/tablet/devices for some time throughout the evening or weekend. It’s amazing how much breathing room you can get from a couple of hours without the dinging but simply by spending it with the person/people you are with!
  2. Mediation: Well this one is always on my list because breathing we all do. So try this method: Breathe in for 4 seconds, Hold it for 7 seconds and breathe out for 8 seconds. Do this for one minute. After I do this, during stressful times, I am grounded enough to continue normal deep breathing and stay in my meditation for a period to unwind and ground myself.
  3. Surround yourself with Loved ones. Spend some time doing coffee, playing board games, doing crafts etc. Whatever you enjoy doing.
  4. Make sure you take your medication and refill it regularly if you have to be on some. This too is self-care. I personally also actively search for other ways to live, so one day I don’t have to be on my medication.
  5. Avoid toxic people. Anyone that you do not enjoy spending time with, that drains your energy, that makes you feel negative. Avoid them as much as you can and spend time with those that are uplifting, stable and encourage your goals, dreams and visions. You don’t have to share the same goals and dreams with others but supporting each other in a healthy positive manner is a loving support to have.
  6. And lastly, sleep. Go to bed about the same time each day and get up about the same time each morning. The routine does your body good and we function much better when we’re well rested.

 

Love,

Bea

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Marc and Angel Hack Life – Pixie’s thoughts

I was reading an article by Marc and Angel this evening (I get these daily). I adore their articles. These two just know how to lift up a gloomy day and say things how they are. Anyways, this article was about unhappy people and the things they don’t admit to themselves. Have you met the type, they are always negative, and have not a whole lot of positive to say?!

Well, in this article Marc and Angel discussed the things that unhappy people don’t admit to themselves and I admit, we all have bad days. As a matter of fact we’re all allowed bad days, but we don’t have to move into that mindset, always blaming others for our negativity and always being in that bad spot. Life is beautiful and there is so many beautiful things and moments and if we’re always unhappy and miserable we will miss them all.

Holding on to grudges is another thing they discussed in their article. Isn’t it funny, I just discussed this with someone today. I strongly believe grudges are the silliest thing. I get irritable with people and there is a person or two that always tend to rub me the wrong way. But the I remind myself “I choose to see this with Love”. Normally that little mantra is enough to redirect my thinking. Their way of life, their attitude and their behavior is not about me, nor is it my problem. I can react and respond in a very positive and light filled manner. Be the light you wish to see. I promise, this is not an easy task, and there is is, like I said a person or two, that make me struggle with this, but most people don’t make this difficult for me. Be positive and respond in a positive manner to their bad mannerisms and behaviors and I promise you will be much happier for it.

The final point that I want to touch on that was on their list, is that unhappy people avoid themselves. What is meant here is that they are never fully present. They over indulge in social media, TV , shopping, food, booze, tabloids….. the list goes on, but the point is they are never fully present with just themselves. Being alone means truly dealing with our feelings, and unhappy people will distract by any means to not face those at any cost, so they avoid. Have you sat in total solitude recently? Meditated in peace, sat with

IMG_20170114_175603

your journal and simply spend time with you? Why don’t you just notice your emotions without judgement, because life is too short to not enjoy and love yourself and learn from yourself. After all, if you’re not truly in tune with who you are… how will you ever expect to grow?

 

Love, Pixie (Beatrice

Adult Coloring books

7_reasons_why_adults_low_versionI love art. I love drawing and creating things out of mere supplies. It makes my heart sing and makes me peaceful. Also… it’s always reigned in my anxiety. Who would’ve thought that my love for coloring would eventually become a thing?! In and around 2013 a whole wide range of adult coloring books started coming to the surface. The reason for that is that as it had already proven on a personal level. Coloring is healing. Ha! Who would’ve thought?!?!?!

Adult coloring books are great for your mental, emotional and also intellectual health.  Did you have any idea that the “prescription” of adult coloring stems all the way back to the late and great psychologist Carl Jung? Well it did. He was always ahead of his time. Jung used it thinking it would help his patient’s access their subconscious and new self-knowledge. We now know that many psychologists suggest this to patients as an alternative to meditation, as a means of relaxation, and as a calming tool. It can help the individual focus on the act of coloring intricate pictures for hours on end, vs. focusing on intrusive and troubling thoughts. An activity that can invoke the easier and happier times of childhood. A time when we did not have as many responsibilities, and could just do something because we wanted too, for the pure joy of it. To be able to tap into this time and these emotions is very cathartic and enjoyable. It can take you out of your present stresses and worries for even a few hours at a time, which can have an exceptionally recuperative effect.

pattern_play_coloring_book_065A great thing about coloring is that, unlike some hobbies, it’s easy to get into. You can do it anywhere and all you need is a design and some colored pencils. I have a couple of coloring books personally, one small one that fits easily into my purse (thanks to a great friend of mine) and a bigger one with more intricate designs that I keep by my desk.

If, at the end of the day, you really feel the need to relax and get away from it all-simply bring out your crayons and coloring book or download some coloring pages. This will surely help you get out and away from it all and help you relax and unwind. I’m grateful there’s now studies to prove that art does indeed have health benefits and am happy to see that these studies are increasingly helping people simmer down and reign in their anxieties, just like they have for me!

 

Happy coloring – With love,

Pixie xo

 

 

REFERENCES:

Finding that Inner Strength

20e1c06e840e1df8ff2c993fe44ad6abWe’ve had a tougher go of it these last few months. With my health being wonky and not knowing what’s going on and all it’s been one uncertainty after another. But something I have learned in the last few months is, that our loved ones ARE there to support us and help us. And if I am having a bad day, I can message and whine to them and they’ll tolerantly and most lovingly listen and let me lean on them. (Thank you to those amazing souls in my life that keep holding me when I need the hand!!! I love you!)

I’ve found strength in myself I didn’t know I possessed through this process. I’ve learned that our human bodies are quite fragile and that pushing them through overworking and always doing will eventually somehow catch up with us. As yet, I don’t know what my health issues exactly are, I do know that when I sit still (in meditation or other quiet activities) I feel relatively okay.

So today, for today, let’s focus on one thing at a time, let’s learn how to lean on that inner strength in times of trouble, because as we know, those storm clouds do gather in our lives, and life isn’t always sunshine. It is though our job to learn how to dance when it pours and how to embrace all seasons and all the weathers of life! There will be days when it doesn’t feel like you’re ever going to be strong enough to weather these storms, but I promise you, as I’m in the midst of my own storms that we’re never given more in life than we can handle, even when we have to dig deep into our most inner selves to find this strength. Every hour of every day, people are pushed to question if they’ll ever feel normal again. This and wanting to help people with this is why I hold on to being an Empath and not let the world make me hard but also this is why I share my personal self with you, that even though I’m a very spiritual, loving person, one who always sees the silver lining, I too have terrible tough days. Here are some things though that have helped me through those tough days.

When you’re having a hard time, remind yourself of all the days before that you’ve survived. Your survival record is 100% for crazy hard days! Congratulations on that!!! You’re doing amazing!!!!! Practice seeing yourself rise above the pain, looking back and peering forward at the values, experiences and goals of your whole life. Remind yourself that you are bigger than this, and that you will get back to you again. You can always rely on your support system, those closest to you. Even when they live further away, with technology being amazing, you can message them and ask for some encouragement. I promise, even when you feel like you’re intruding, they will help you stand back up.  Ask them to remind you of your strengths and listen to them. That is why these blessed relationships are in your life, and one day, you might do the same for them.

I’ve also found that when I’m extremely overwhelmed it helps tremendously to just find time for myself. Whether I have a bubble bath, or read for a while or just simply sit in meditation, carving time to ground yourself back to your roots is tremendously helpful in this. Carving out time to do the things you’re really good at is vital right now. It will help you remember that you have great talents beyond your personal crisis. That there is great positive things in your life. For myself, I’ve picked up drawing and crocheting again during this time alongside my writing and music. I haven’t been able to sing as it is too much for my head to handle but that doesn’t stop me from humming or quietly singing along.

And finally, lean on your inner guide. They are your strongest supporter and they will always be there to help ground and guide you. Ask for spiritual guidance, comfort and grounding in your journey. Stay open to receiving divine gifts in the most wonderful, surprising ways, and believe that you deserve them when they show up. Meditate. Pray. Be mindful. Trust that you are going to move past this thing and that the universe wants that for you as well.

Lots of Love,

Pixie xo

 

The day after the U.S. Election

I am going to refuse to write anything about the election. There is much to be considered and each person has their own opinions. Just remember to love a little more, pray and meditate a little more, and be kind and mindful in all your daily adventures.

My goal today is to write for my Novel Manuscript and also I’ve got to whip up some crochet dice bags for friends of mine that play DnD and kindly asked if I could make some. Browsing patterns online for these I thought I’d share them with you.

This is a beautiful pattern for a Dragon Scale Dice Bag by Alyssa Lou blogger-image-49444706

Really she did a most stunning job on this little bag and it’s precisely what I was imagining for these boys.

mindfulnessCrocheting, drawing and writing has meditative effects for me. They are calming, and soothing to me. I simply focus on those activities at the time and allow my mind to be still except for the tasks at hand.

Meditation doesn’t have to mean you just sit and do nothing. Controlling your breath, calming your body and soul can be done during regular day to day activities as well. Being mindful throughout your days will bring you into the present moment. I have made most of my daily activities into ways to be mindful. Simply living in the now for a period greatly reduces anxiety and “what if’s” that will most likely never happen.

For the next few days, simply start by being mindful during your daily activities.

mind·ful·ness
ˈmīn(d)f(ə)lnəs/
noun
  1. 1.
    the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.
    “their mindfulness of the wider cinematic tradition”
  2. 2.
    a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

When sitting at your desk, if you notice you’re slouching, sit up straight, relax your face, neck and shoulder muscles and simply take 5 deep breaths.

Cooking offers a variety of ways to be mindful. You can hone your attention in on your own movements, the sounds in the kitchen, the taste of the food you are preparing, or the aromas of the different spices as they cook.

Using your phone alarm throughout the day at random intervals can help remind you to bring your focus back to breath. We get so caught up with our daily lives that breathing often becomes something we hardly focus on. Taking a minute when your alarm chirps to simply do a few deep breaths is a great way to be mindful of your current surroundings.

As you start seeing utilizing more techniques on mindfulness (I consider them active meditations as you still are just keeping your mind clear and only in the now.), you’ll feel more focused, you’ll breathe easier and you can move on to longer focused meditation sessions.

Love,

Pixie

 

8,539 words and counting!

How is your NaNo going? Are you still sticking with it?

Having been home because of my health these last few months has given me some perspective and serious time to think. I believe we take our Bodies for granted. We forget how terribly fragile we are as humans! I’ve made a vow to myself though this last few weeks. I went through a bunch of different emotions with this uncertainty and it seemed that I’d never get better. I was mourning my life style. Being busy is something I thrive in. Deadlines, appointments, people to help, kids to chauffeur, dinners to cook, house to clean. Now, I often spend my days with little activity and most of the running around has come to a sudden halt. Not because I’m tremendously ill, but because I know my body needs the slower life right now.

When our bodies get sick or are with continuous cronic pain we feel like we’ve been betrayed. We feel broken and it’s incredibly easy to slip into a mode of “poor poor me”. It’s okay to complain and it’s okay to have off days. Don’t let those be your every day though. You have to search for Love. There is always a way to see Love in each situation. There is always a silver lining, though I’ll admit sometimes those silver linings and the positive are REALLY hard to find when we’ve become ill or life has thrown us a curveball. It took me several weeks of persistent journaling and leaning on some very strong loved ones to find Love in all this uncertainty.

One day, very recently I felt VERY sorry for myself. And I was curled up in my bed and I asked myself, after taking 4 very deep breaths, What is it that I’ve not yet learned? What is it that the Universe is teaching me with this?

The answer came to me as I lay there in silence. All that time I spend overthinking, overplanning, and overdoing, while my body endured it all. Trying and often failing to get my attention until it broke down. Lacking sleep more often than not, not eating regular meals, drinking entirely too much coffee (at the time I was gulping down at least 3 pots during the day). By no means am I suggesting that all illness befalls us due to mistreating our bodies and overloading our systems by being “Busy”. Sometimes illness befalls us for no good reason, and it’s no one’s fault but even in those cases we need to slow down and go back to being a little more mindful of ourselves. In each moment during tougher times, we can chose our attitude towards it. I will share a few thoughts on how I went from resentment towards kindness during this process of not being able to work and live my busy life to the extend I’m used to.

  1. Do ONLY what you can do with certainty. Don’t overdo just because you’re stubborn and that’s the way you’ve always done things. It will not serve you and most likely your body will feel much worse after. There’s been days it took me 45 minutes to wash my dishes and wipe down the counters, simply because I had to take time to sit in between.
  2. Don’t do the things you cannot do. Simple as that. Ask for help from loved ones. If you can’t do the laundry QUIT IT ! If you can’t rake the yard, don’t do it! It’s NOT easy for me to accept that I can’t do everything on my own right now but if we let go of that stubborn pride just a little and respect our healing selves it will make the process that much simpler.
  3. Meditate. Meditation has been shown to have a tremendous amount of health benefits. Anyone can benefit here. And it’s more so true for anyone dealing with any tougher and less clear paths in their lives.
  4. REST – if you need to rest because you’re feeling drained, tired, or simply worn. Grab that smut novel you’ve been hiding in the back of your bookshelf and curl up and read. Make a cup of tea and enjoy or simply have a nap.
  5. Find enjoyable things to do that are relaxing and slow paced but bring you joy. Being ill is a pain in the a$$ (excuse my language). But it doesn’t have to be all negative. Find things you enjoy doing. I blossom when I can sit and write (HELLO NANAWRIMO), play my guitar, sing or simply draw or read. All of those are very quiet activities that don’t require a lot of energy but they allow my creative mind to keep working and they allow me to get lost in myself in a positive manner and still embrace the busy life I love without straining my body when all it’s begging for is quiet and rest while it’s healing. So surround yourself with pleasure and humor. Neither has to cost a lot.

 

Today I challenge you to make a MY FAVORITE THINGS list. I’ll do the same along side you this evening yet in my journal because HAPPY lists make me HAPPY. The list can have things like “Cookies, PB & J Sandwhiches, hugs etc” on it, whatever is your favorite. Simply write it out. Maybe doodle your favorite coffee/tea mug. Or make a doodle drawing of your cat or dog. Stick figure families! Whatever makes you happy and makes your heart sing can go on this list!
I hope you’re enjoying and thriving during your personal Novel writing time and are embracing the quieter, healing aspect of this creative outlet as I have been!

 

Lots of love

Pixie!

Finding your Inner Guide among all the other Voices

I speak in much more detail about this in my upcoming book “The Nook-Book” though I love sharing a few tidbits as we approach the release of my book in a few months.

I have a few things I do to get through my days and weeks with relative ease. Finding time for me and my personal space otherwise gets forgotten about. So here are some of the things I do to get through my weeks without any real struggle and extra added peace.

 

  1. I mediate every single night. Sometimes I take several minutes several times a day to breathe, find my center and also then in turn find my loving space again. That space where my ~Ing is close to me and my heart is open to receive and give love again

 

  1. I journal. I have for several years and I’m very diligent about this practice. My journals have become my best friends, my companions, my know-it-alls. They have my planners, notes, book notes, blog post thoughts and plans, business plans and life schedule in them.

 

  1. I work out my weekly plan at the very end of the last week. normally I aim for Sundays but sometimes Saturdays is the day I land up doing this as well. I work out my work schedule for my job first as that’s not decided by me, then I fill in the kids’ and hubby’s plans in different colors (yes, I love colors) and then last I fill in my writing and sketching hours for that week. I aim to achieve 10-20 each week. It’s a good goal for me and works well for my family at this point. After all I have tons of goals to achieve if one day this is all I want to be doing.

 

  1. Cuddle. I seriously cuddle. My husband, my kids, my pets, my friends. I love cuddles. It’s really not a secret that cuddling makes a person feel good. Right!?! It makes us feel safe, cozy, warm, and like someone else has the reigns for just a bit. Cuddling also releases Oxytocin. Ocytocin does everything from help you feel good to helping you feel more connected to others. Cuddling also boosts your immune system. Honestly, aside from my snuggles and hugging habits I believe this may be why I almost never actually get sick. Cuddling reduces stress as well so if you’re having a rough day, snuggle up and feel the tension ease bringing you yet again closer to love and your Inner Guide.

 

Our Inner Guides, also known as the “True mind” is the part of us that sees the world as whole. Sees all as one. But as you’re getting to know her. How do you know if you’ve heard correctly (or even at all?!). My personal guidance often comes in several forms, sometimes it’s just a gut feeling, others it’s blurbs of images. For some it’s an “AHA moment”. Even though it was a feeling, I recognized it as my inner guide speaking to me because of the rightness of it. That is, when I thought of doing what it was telling me I needed to do, I knew it was the correct thing even though it seemed pretty crazy at the time.

Sometimes I can “hear” her. In my mind of course. Through meditation I came to learn that my Inner Guide can have a real voice. The trouble is recognizing her from all the others. Recognizing she’s the right one to listen to. Truly, it’s only when you start paying attention that you realize how much unneeded and useless chatter goes on in our heads.

I started meditating after a bit of a rough patch a number of years back. I’d started as simple as just finding several minutes where I’d attempt to shut down the chatter and just be. The hard part was finding my Inner Guide in all the chatter. I recognized my main voice (myself) right away as those were my conscious thoughts. What should I make for dinner? What else do I need to do today? Who do I need to call?” the list went on and on. My main voice had no idea how to quiet the rest of them. She was quite lost on that count to be truthful with you. I’d drift and allow all those chatter boxes to keep chattering until eventually I would realize my mind(s) had drifted and my main voice would rise up in frustration and scream “SHUT THE HECK UP ALREADY”! (Which by the way, doesn’t help!)

And this is exactly what makes mediation so difficult, is to quiet the mind and only allow your Inner Guide to speak up. The whole idea is to quiet your mind. Yet just as you get one voice to shut up, the others laugh and keep going, which makes you feel completely powerless.

Eventually, one day though, those voices just stopped. I am not certain how, I believe now in the aftermath it was simply practice. Letting them chatter but not wallowing on any of what was said. Just letting the thoughts drift by without judgement or investigating further. Once I was able to stop the voices, I started practicing at keeping it that way. I was able to hear Her. Her, being my Inner Guide. She comes through as an authorative voice. I can ask questions and she’ll answer. Sometimes just a word or two other times it’s a bit longer. Still, hearing Her makes me realize I’m on the right path. So how can you know you’re hearing your Inner Guide and aren’t imagining things at random? I can only speak for myself, but the voice of my Inner Guide seems to speak much slower than any other voice that is in my head. When my conscious mind is free from the clutter of the egoic mind, I can very clearly hear and sense the distinction between the me who’s asking the question and the I who is providing the answers. The answerer is very no nonsense and it always provides the one true answer that I know is exactly right. Therefore I can only explain it to you in somewhat of a riddle:  You’ll know for sure if you’re hearing your inner guide only when you actually know for sure that you’re hearing your inner guide! In other words, if you’re not sure, then it’s probably not your inner guide speaking.

It’s also important to note that the inner guide doesn’t always answer right away. In fact, I don’t typically expect answers at all at the time I ask my questions. I generally believe they’ll come to me later either as a sign (such as hearing about a certain book from multiple sources) or through allowing my inner guide to literally lead me through my day. I’ve also found that the more I allow for that to happen, the fewer questions I feel the need to ask in my meditations.

Love, Pixie xo