I was diagnosed & reacted…

Good evening, happy Saturday and Happy January 21st

For some it may be Sunday by the time you read this but I wanted to touch base anyways. I went and saw the Neurologist this week, and the news he gave me was far from what I wanted to hear & with all my spiritual training and studying I assumed I’d react better than I did. He diagnosed me with “Vertiginous or Vestibular Migraines”.

Vestibular migraine is a variant of migraine in which instead of headache being the most predominant feature, dizziness is. Patients usually say that out of nowhere they got extremely dizzy and don’t feel like they’re on even ground. Some describe a spinning or rocking sensation. They have light or sound sensitivity and get nauseous or throw up. Episodes can last minutes to hours, and there’s a chronic form where people have a constant sense of imbalance.

This is a strain of migraine that very few people are lucky enough to get so very little research has been done and I was also lucky enough to get the “chronic version” were you are always dizzy and unbalanced. If you’re new here let me go back just a little bit. I started having extreme dizziness with slight migraines back in May of 2016. In October everything changed, I was taken to hospital,  pulled from my job and became quite dependent on the people around me during my “bad days” which were becoming more and more often, until they were daily.  I’m constantly feeling faint with these tremendous headaches and pressure behind my forehead. I spend most days walking along furniture or balancing on my dog who has been a blessing to me during this time.The diagnosis basically told me that I would be like this most of my life now. There isn’t a “cure” for this, just a medication that I was now put on that may reduce these symptoms by up to 50% over the next 3 months. So, I will still not be “normal” and will most likely always be this way. That was quite the shock. I reacted quite badly and had a pity party for myself that whole day.

After the initial shock wore off, I changed my tune. I went into myself and pulled out every ounce of strength I had and I leaned on my inner guide. I prayed and I asked for guidance. I asked the Universe to show me the way. I surrendered this all and asked my inner guide to take the wheel. In the next few days I spend a ton of time researching the heck out of this condition and have reached out to the kind people around me to help find answers that may not be part of our traditional western medicine.  With the help and love of my inner guide, and knowing she was going to walk beside me through all this I found some great answers as to what I’m even up against which has given me the new drive to get answers in regards to regaining a little sense of normalcy somehow. There is many people out there that deal with a lot of medical issues on a daily basis, so I can too!

If you are struggling tonight, know that you are not alone! Know that when you surrender it all to God, Mother Earth or the Universe (or any God of your understanding), know that you’re never alone in your struggles and your happy moments. Know you’re always guided, we humans just sometimes make the mistake of letting the ego take over and thus silence our inner guide and cheerleader! She’s always there to show us the way in good and in not so good times, and if you just listen, you’ll not be steered wrong. My “listening” comes in several forms, sometimes it’s an article or a book, or a gut instinct, or a friend who just has some kind & caring words to guide me but when we just listen and are willing to receive, we’re always guided.
Love, Pixie

Please support and help us here if you can, by either sharing this link, or helping with a small donation! And also to read more about our story! THANK YOU!!!!! All of the amazing help we’ve received has been so loving and I’m forever grateful ❤

 

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A little on Gratitude

I continuously observe people being very ungrateful and miserable in their lives. It is tough, I fully understand. Life can be miserable and it can be unfair. I understand that too. Good people don’t _____ <– fill in the blank to your needs. The reality though is that we all have ups and downs, life does give us lemons and life does throw us curve balls. People who regularly practice gratitude by taking time to notice and reflect upon the things they’re thankful for experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems.

As I love reminding myself that I’m a #spiritjunkie and that I am growing each day right beside you guys, I read daily morning pages. Some days those pages are simply from my current book (right now I’m reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert) and other days I simply search the web for articles. It’s healthy to grow and it’s healthy to reflect. This morning though, while chatting with a great friend, I noticed again how bogged down we get with life & how easily we forget to be grateful for the things we do have.

“Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot” ~Hausa Proverb

For myself, embracing a gratitude journal seemed a very obvious way to start, as I love writing. I started this years ago on occasion just within my normal daily writing practice, but around Christmas time I decided it was time to dedicate one journal simply to gratitude. It’s lovely really, when my mood is bogged down, it’s much simpler to look back on the great things. Read a few days of entries and instantly be reminded of the great things in life! When I sat down this morning, I was going to type out a brand new list of ways to start a gratitude journal or maybe on how to be more grateful, but then I remembered, why start a whole new list when Authors like Louise Jensen over at TinyBuddah have done this so beautifully! I’d rather share her lovely insights with my amazing readers than rewording something that has been written countless times, when I can’t possibly word this much better.

There is joy everywhere, but it can be overshadowed by pain if you allow it.

When I have a bad day now, I read back over my journal and I remember that life has so much to offer. I still such a lot to be grateful for. Yes, I am one of the lucky ones. I have a life and I love it.

If you want to start a gratitude journal I recommend the following:

1. Don’t just go through motions. Make a decision to be consciously more grateful.

Don’t reluctantly journal because you think you should. Feel what you write. Believe it.

2. Don’t set yourself a minimum number of things to write per day.

This is a toughie. Many sites will recommend five or so things per day. In my experience, there are days I have less, and that’s perfectly okay. On balance, there are days I can fill a page. Don’t put yourself under pressure to stick to the same amount each day. Be flexible and don’t take the joy away by being too regimented.

3. Don’t wait for the right time.

I try to integrate this into my bedtime routine, but if I have a joyful experience, I often write it down straight away. This reinforces the positivity felt and ensures I don’t forget anything.

4. Elaborating on why you are grateful allows you to really explore your feelings.

If, like me, you intend on flicking back through your journal, make it clear why you are grateful for the items you add. For example: For the first entry, I put “my children.” On day two, I wrote, “my children for putting on a sock puppet show after school and making me laugh.” That triggers so many memories each time I read it and always makes me smile.

5. Focus on people rather than things.

As much as I love my iPod, it can never give me the same warm, fuzzy, loved feeling my partner instills by making me a surprise breakfast in bed.

6. Don’t rush; savor every word.

Don’t see this as another chore to get through. The fact that you can make a list of things that make you feel grateful should make you feel, umm, well, grateful!

7. Include surprises.

Unexpected events often elicit a greater emotional response. They’re also wonderful to look back on when you feel that life is mundane and the same old routine all the time.

8. Keep the negative out.

If you want to keep a diary to record how you feel, this can be constructive, but leave your gratitude journal as a purely positive only exercise.

9. Mix it up. Don’t put same thing every day.

Expand your awareness. The more you do this, the more you’ll start to really appreciate what a gift life is. The world is beautiful. Learn to really experience it.

10. Be creative.

Who says a gratitude journal has to be full of lists? Mine contains everything from concert tickets to photos and restaurant receipts. Have some fun with it.

11. Give it a fair chance.

Some experts say it takes, on average, twenty-one days for a new habit to form. Don’t give up or dismiss it as not working before then. Commit to just three weeks and then see how you feel. What have you got to lose?

Love, Pixie xo

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Source – http://tinybuddha.com/blog/turn-pain-to-joy-11-tips-for-a-powerful-gratitude-journal/

If you have not had a chance to read my story please do so! It has encouraged me to practice mindfulness and gratitude in a much more consistent way! www.gofundme.com/financial-pains-due-to-illness

 

 

Happy New Year’s Eve

Good morning and Happy Saturday December 31st

Today marks the last day of 2016. Are you ready for 2017? I have seen a lot of negative talk about how bad 2016 was and I myself at points felt the same. Despite that though, despite my health being crummy most of this year and with that having financial difficulties I have pushed myself to grow and see these difficulties as Teachers and Lessons. , to know We can always choose to be negative and feel down and depressed but we can also chose the exact opposite, the positive and possibilities of the unknown. My illness has taught me an amazing amount of compassion for myself and also patience. Most of all it has taught me to trust in the kindness  of strangers, in this case that being the Doctors and all those amazing people that have supported us with love, prayers and donations. I am forever grateful for the love that has been shown to us.

We can always see the negatives in life’s terrible times. This morning I read an article about the Dharmapala. The Dharmapala is a type of wrathful god in Buddhism. The name means “Dharma protector or defender” in Sanskrit.

I learned that according to myth, the Dharmapalas are angry creatures that would run into the Dharma—the principle of peace and mindfulness—and then all of their anger and misery would be transformed into the fierce protection of kindness.

They look pretty angry, and you can actually buy one and hang it on your wall for protection. They look like the kind of warrior that will definitely kick your a**. .

Basically, they serve as reminders for becoming present. If we are not present, bad things will happen. This is why accidents happen. This is why we fall into a spiral of “bad luck”—and it won’t really stop until we learn to stop and just breathe.

This illness (which I still don’t have answers to) has caused me to fight with myself daily, to ensure I see Love and remain trusting to the Universe for having my back. Of course, I’m not a saint, so there is days where I drop the ball. There is times where I don’t care to be happy and just want to wallow in self-pity for some time. Truth is though, what good does self-pity do me, when none of that hatred will serve me for my higher good? Those are the days when I pull out my journal and I vent out my anger at this illness and after writing line after line, and page after page, my thoughts turn back to the present and to  Love on their own it seems. I’ll have run out of steam and finally pull myself back together to believe that this will be over and sorted soon enough and that the Universe does have my back.

Being present and mindful is easier said than done most days, but with practice and just constant reminders to focus on the current moment, the feel of your skin, the water rushing through your hair, the sound of the fridge door slamming, the noise of the animals around you, the sounds of your home…. with practice you will be able to pull yourself back to being present and simply to your breath, allowing yourself to relax into the moment with love and compassion for yourself.

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Lots of love ,

Pixie

 

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