On Forgiveness, My Favorite F-Word

My favorite F-word on the planet has got to be Forgiveness. Forgiving yourself and others who may have wronged you to be exact.

Ego has this uncanny ability to run the show, she’s got so many tricks in her bag that they are countless and often she’ll jump right in especially when she sees we are happy. Then something triggers her in our surroundings and one tiny little thought will crumble our peace & love bubble.

Forgiveness is a tough subject, because often it truly feels like we can’t forgive ourselves or another person for the wrongs that occurred. Truth is, everyone messes up sometimes, forgiving them or yourself doesn’t mean you’re okay with the things that happened or that they were even right, but it does bring you back to a state of peace and love.

The process and steps to forgiveness are different and will be different for each person but to give you a rough guide I’ll share my process with you.Forgiveness is a process, don’t worry though, once you are willing to open up and be set free, your Inner Guide will be there to guide you and carry the heavy load.

  1. We have to recognize that we are what we see in the other person. The things that bother us most about other people are often things that are deeply buried within ourselves as well. So in order to start letting go we have to recognize and accept that.
  2. Recognize that past has gone and we can’t control the future. So only the present is what matters the most. Letting go and knowing that these things happened and we can no longer undo them is a solid step in the right direction. Let go of needing to be right. Gabby quoted A Course in Miracles saying, “Do you want to be right, or happy?”
  3. Say a quiet prayer for yourself and the person who wronged you and ask the Universe or any God of your understanding to guide you back to love and help you forgive them and yourself.Take a few deep, calming breaths.Bring this person into your mind’s eye, but be cautious not to embrace any past actions or words.

    As you concentrate wish the person everything you’d want for yourself.

    Imagine you both being enveloped by gold, forgiving and peaceful light.

    Tell them you forgive them but also forgive yourself for hanging on to this resentment.You may have to repeat this exercise a few times, but you will truly know you’ve truly let go when you feel a positive shift in your emotions when you think of this person, and when you feel freed.

  4. Allow your Inner Guide to do it’s work. If you stand back and begin to observe the thoughts and opportunities your Inner Guide hands you, you will be led to forgiveness.

 

 

 


Most of the lessons I speak of I learned from Gabrielle Bernstein and also from A Course In Miracles. Both are great guides to further your spirituality as well.
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Morning Pages

I’ve spend so much of my last few years journaling that it seems odd that even at this point, years later, my journal still grows with me at a consistent rate. As I grow, as I change, as I adapt to different life events, so does my journal.

Four days ago I added something new again. These pages are called Morning Pages and were originally created by Julia Cameron in her book The Artist’s Way. I first read about these on Pinterest and was intrigued. I promptly hopped over to Julia’s site and started investigating this concept a bit more.

Really it’s simple. Every morning before attacking your day, you simply sit down and brain dump for three solid pages in longhand. My first thought was “WOAH … I’LL NEVER MANAGE 3 SOLID PAGES!” Truth is, I started and the stray thoughts just started dumping onto my pages, yesterday I even spilled out 10 pages instead of the required three. All she asks you to do is simply write. Even if you discuss your kitty’s litterbox habits, or how you drink your coffee, the annoying habits your spouse has, the noise level your kids have, or simply repeat over and over that you have NO idea what to write. Put that pen to paper and start writing.

The rules to the Morning pages are firm and the reason she suggests to write on paper is because it takes longer than to type at a computer. This simple act allows you to solely focus on your mind during this time, giving yourself time with your mind, clearing it of all the daily clutter. These morning pages to me have become an active meditation, allowing me to focus on myself and myself only.

She defines morning pages as: ‘three pages of longhand writing, strictly stream-of-consciousness’. Unlike journaling, morning pages have a set of rules:

  • Write every day
  • Write by hand
  • Write first thing in the morning, before doing anything else
  • Write three pages
  • Write whatever comes to mind, without stopping, until you reach three pages (even if that means writing ‘I don’t know what to say’ for three pages)
  • Write whether you feel like it or not

While Julia sees them as something spiritual, I really do agree. I also agree with her on two more things:

They are an farewell to life as you knew it, and an introduction to life as it’s going to be.

and

They have nothing to do with creativity, but what they do is clear your mind.

Like I said at the beginning of this post, I’ve only done these for four solid days. One thing I have found instantly is that I’m peaceful. It’s become a way to communicate with my Inner Guide, allowing her to come through and help through the jumble of thoughts that toss around in my mind on a daily basis. It’s helped with the guidance and love she sends our way.

Some days I imagine this will be more strictly journaling, other days it will be brain dumping, whining and growling, then it can be to-do’s and even prayer lists. These are yours just like your journal. Use them, utilize them as you need for yourself but simply write for a minimum of three pages, you will feel more peaceful and lighter.

Before morning pages, I thought that the inability to feel clear minded was just a grown up thing.

Try it out for a week. Just do it every day for 7 days (yes, weekends included). See where it leads you. Make it your own.